Use Routines to Strengthen Friendships

I really struggle to keep in touch with people, especially when they’re far away. I don’t talk with any of my high school friends, and only one college friend.

For the longest time I thought it was some kind of character flaw I had, but apparently this is common for people with ADHD. It’s an issue with object permanence.

Plus, making friends as an adult is hard.

But rather than focus on all the friends I’ve lost touch with, let’s focus on the one I kept close. His name is Hider, and we’ve been best friends since we were college roommates.

Our secret? Car soccer.

Or rather, the habit of playing a video game for an hour every weekend.

The activity didn’t matter as much as the ritual. We hop on a call, start up a game, and catch up on each other’s lives.

It’s a small thing, but considering we live in different states, it’s necessary to keep close.

Without the routine, I’d forget to text him, or so much time would go by that we’d fade out of each other’s lives. Not intentionally. It just happens in adulthood.

Instead of fading out, we’ve grown even closer over the years. I was the best man at his wedding and I’m the godfather to his infant son. It’s a relationship I cherish, and I owe it to online video games.

So if you’ve got someone in your life that you’d like to stay close with, or develop a closer relationship, consider a habit. Propose something easy and small, an hour a week or so, and see what they think.